Here at Worker’s Spatula, if there’s one thing we take extremely seriously, it’s rebutting the lies of the bourgeoisie about actually existing socialism, from whether or not Stalin said all those things they said he said, to whether Enver Hoxha was a power bottom, to whether or not Lysenko was right (he was, he was one whole conference worth of right).
But we would be remiss if we failed to rebut one of the most obscene pieces of slander in the 20th century about China, one which even most explicitly Maoist sites fail to discuss sufficiently: namely the lies repeated by the bourgeoisie and their revisionist servants about the infamous Four Pests Campaign during the Great Leap Forward.
As always, we assume that most readers are genuine socialists and not crypto-fascists, and therefore there is no need to rebut the obvious lie that the Great Leap Forward was a campaign which (intentionally or otherwise) resulted in mass starvation, but rather was a normal, reasonable Stalin-style five-year plan which actually ended mass starvation which had previously been the norm in Chinese society. Criticism of the Four Pests Campaign by ostensible “socialists”, unfortunately, tends to accept that there is a kernel of truth to this slander, namely that Mao and his comrades ignorantly neglected the role sparrows played in the local food chain and ecosystem. Nothing could be further from the truth: coming from a peasant background himself, Chairman Mao and his comrades, who made extensive use of the Mass Line with the poor peasant class on whom they relied extensively for their glorious socialist construction in China, would never be so foolish as to advocate agricultural policy that did not dialectically reflect the peasants own material experience.
In short, it is dialectically impossible for there to be any truth to these claims of wanton and useless sparrowcide, and we must seek the truth of the matter in known materialist facts about the world: what are sparrows but the most obvious example of flying birds, and what are birds, but the flying avian equivalent of imperialist running dogs???
If Chairman Mao and his comrades advocated the extermination of these nefarious wrecker sparrows, it was because the Chinese party were the first group of revolutionaries to grasp the fact that birds are not real.
Look at the evidence: birds have been proven to be totally fake, nothing more than drones employed by the CIA to spy on everyone. Anyone who pretends that birds are real is an objective CIA agent, and who would the CIA want to spy on more than China in the middle of the 20th century?
Which brings us to the second piece of evidence, according to the peer-reviewed subreddit on the subject, the birds-drone replacement experiments began in the late ’50s and early ’60s, “coincidentally” the period in which China was bravely taking a stance against Khrushchev’s “peaceful coexistence” with imperialism headed by Yankee imperialism. Said “peaceful coexistence” doubtless included the “peaceful” sharing of state-of-the-art bird technology between Moscow and Washington for use against their common foes.
So, the Chinese communists saw through the joint US-Soviet (and likely Yugoslav) plot and launched the Four Pests Campaign to combine this counter-espionage operation with a routine crop defence activity. When the campaign was too successful at destroying the primitive CIA sparrow-drones, the CIA engineered a famine which their agent (and likely famine-doer), Zheng Zuoxin, blamed on the anti-sparrow campaign.
With all these facts at hand, which sincere socialist can look at the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution and come to any other conclusion other than that its failure was practically pre-determined by the wrecking behaviour of the legions of imperialist sparrows who had tragically been allowed to escape the cleansing fire of revolution a decade prior???
The success of the sparrow-drones proven, the forces of imperialism and revisionism doubtless conspired to utilise sparrows or some other manner of Trotskyite bird to undermine Albanian socialism in the late 1980s following the death of known sparrow-hater, general bird skeptic, and prolific imperialism-condemner Enver Halil Hoxha.
Worker’s Spatula will be dedicating all of our resources in the coming months to ensuring that top Albanian ornithologists can be contacted and employed to research this crucial question.
Birds are an imperialist psyop.
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