Sandwich Theory

We at Worker’s Spatula pride ourselves in being both the most theoretically advanced of shitposters, and also the shittiest of theoreticians. It comes as a great disappointment to us that in our years of weird theoretical interventions on Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, and now Instagram, we have barely succeeded in explaining even the most basic fact about Hegel’s dialectical method which Marx upheld and appropriated, namely that it is not about THESIS – ANTITHESIS – SYNTHESIS.

We encourage readers who really are coming at this stuff from the beginning to start with the famous Twitter thread. However, we recognise that some of our examples were either too political or too philosophical for many of our target audience, who are used to discussing everything in terms of what is and what is not a sandwich.

Therefore, we present to you, our dear readers, comrades and strugglers, toilers and oppressed, from Melbourne to Moscow, the dialectical answer to the question “is it a sandwich?”

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Well, obviously it must first be said that a hot dog is technically a kind of sausage, which is ordinarily served in a manner that provokes sandwich controversy:

the thing in the package is a hot dog,
the thing on the label may be a sandwich

However, the standard presentation of the hamburger patty in contemporary culinary norms being called a “hamburger”, we accept that most readers likewise will excuse further reference to a hot dog on a hot dog bun as a “hot dog”. Are these bread-meat combinations sandwiches?

Without a doubt. By removing the sausage or the patty and replacing them with, e.g. tuna fish, everyone would agree that what you have before you is none other than a sandwich. Consider this indisputable sandwich from the chain “SUBWAY”:

Clearly there is nothing more sandwich-like about this than a hot dog

So then is our answer so simple? Is a sandwich merely anything inside of bread? Let us turn to other possibilities:

Is an Onigiri a sandwich?

We have no doubt that some readers will doubt that the tasty snack displayed below constitutes a sandwich exactly and precisely because it is not made out of bread. But we have equally no doubt that each and every person who seeks to exclude onigiri from the category of “sandwich” is a frothing racist:

You’ve been called out, onigiri-haters.

The “filling” of the onigiri is clearly sandwiched between rice, and it is meant to be eaten much in the manner of a sandwich, and accordingly fills, in Japanese society in particular, the universal social role of a sandwich.

So it is clear that no true internationalist revolutionary can disagree that onigiri too are sandwiches. The matter here is that we have only initial affirmations of sandwichhood, with no negation, and thus NO DIALECTICAL PROCESS THROUGH WHICH TRUE KNOWLEDGE OF SANDWICH-HOOD CAN CONCRETELY EMERGE.

Let us reveal the essence of the sandwich phenomenon through its negation, the un-sandwich:

Is a pie a sandwich?

As with the hot dog example above, certain terms are imprecise for theoretical/philosophical sandwiches. The word “pie” is used for a great many things, but let us consider this extremely haram English pork pie, purely for theoretical reasons because no Spatula writer-militant would dare allow pork to touch their lips, and could only be made to eat pork under the duress of torture by fascists:

Don’t look at it for too long, Allah will grow displeased.

While it cannot be denied that bread contains this repugnant dish on every side, it cannot be eaten in the manner of a sandwich. Beyond the act of parallel containment by sandwiching, the preparation of a true sandwich must be mindful of the end result of the process by which a sandwich is eaten as food, in a sandwich-like fashion:

A sandwich is made to be held in the hands by its sandwiching parts and eaten likewise for the convenience and enjoyment of the proletarian worker (who has ideally produced it for themselves in an unalienated fashion, but perhaps has purchased it as a commodity because we live under capitalism).

In other words, despite having all the formalist appearance of a sandwich, and indeed being constructed through sandwiching, unless you can unhinge your jaw like a fucking python, the food this man is showing us is in social practice no sandwich:

It is, however, arguably very erotic.

We hope that the theoretical essence of sandwichhood has thus been revealed, and through this, any serious Marxist can now determine for themselves if almost any foodstuff is a sandwich.

Is a pizza a sandwich? A taco? A burrito? A falafel wrap?

As we have already charged deniers of the sandwichhood of the onigiri and upholders of the sandwichhood of that girthy monster above with formalism, it should be clear that it is highly undialectical to deny that any foodstuff, from an ice cream sandwich to a Hot Pocket, which is produced in such a manner that it may be purposefully consumed in the manner of a sandwich through sandwiching is a sandwich.

A Pop-Tart is a sandwich.

Most controversially, this means that we deny the sandwichhood of the so-called “open-face sandwich” as REVISIONIST.

However, any “open-face sandwich”, including any slice of most varieties of pizza (putting aside the culinarily superior Chicago-style “deep dish” pizza), that can be accordingly manipulated may be rendered a sandwich through the simple act of folding:

A cheese and tomato sandwich.

Disagree with any single word of this on social media and you will be blocked and reported to Stalin.

Sandwich workers and oppressed
sandwiches of the world, unite!

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Worker’s Spatula Endorse Kanye West for President of the United States

As the capitalist-imperialist world system is shaken to its core by the ongoing economic, social, environmental, and health crisis, the literal core has been extensively shook by the past month of Afro-American-led rebellion which has drawn the attention of the entire world, even (for now) overshadowing the country’s much focused-on electoral politics.

The Afro-American masses in particular, and to a great extent the broad masses of workers and oppressed across the imperialist United $tateSS of AmeriKKKa, have heroically raised from the dead the spirits of past strugglers in this country where many, but few more than Worker’s Spatula writers, had undialectically supposed significant change was impossible.

The Central Committee of Worker’s Spatula, the leadership of the vanguard of the vanguard of the vanguard of the world revolution, however, are guided by a deep commitment to Leninist strategy and tactics, and cannot merely self-criticise and reverse our stance. Rather, knowing that this new mass movement cannot contain boundless energy to leap past all obstacles to full and immediate revolutionary victory, we must incorporate this moment into our broader analysis.

The road of struggle in the US will remain long and hard, comrades. And although we cannot fall into a pithy electoralist reformism, lest we fall behind the Zeitgeist of the revolutionary masses, we must be able to intervene in the coming election all the same, or else the considerable hegemony of the ruling classes will deprive us of any voice in the months to come as the uprising dies down and electioneering is ramped up.

And if there’s one “Marxist” in the US who agrees with us, too strongly in fact, that proletarian revolution will not bring down the United States this year, it’s David Harvey. Despite our ordinarily cool relationship with the famous non-appreciator of the political undertones of the Chucky franchise, we decided that given the formally reformist nature of the work necessary to prepare for the coming decline in mass uprising in the US, he was the guy we should tolerate.

“Who should be the next President of the United States!?” we asked as we leapt around the corner at Manhattan’s CUNY Graduate Center (ML), scaring his scrawny white ass into jumping like a metre in the air. The Worker’s Spatula’s New York Electoral Unit (basically the Yank and some South Asian Maoists) had revealed themselves to David Harvey in order to interrogate his views on this pressing question of our time.

“Oh my, how startling! Also, in response to your question, Kanye West should be President. He’s the only remaining candidate to express my extremely Marxist understanding of capitalism as being frought with contradictions, but also, something not worth actually opposing and overcoming, and in fact something worth celebrating as the source of bounty and plenty. Also, he’s the only candidate who has ever attended one of my lectures, and he asked some really pointed questions about the difference between exchange value and price.”

“For sure,” agreed our Baloch correspondent, casting aside his [REDACTED SUBSTANCE] to engage Harvey in a more amicable fashion. “He’s also the only candidate who has gone on record stating that racism still alive, they just be concealin’ it.”

“He’s also the only candidate to endorse the correct view that Jesus of Nazareth was actually a Tamil Hindu,” noted an Indian woman writer with a commune-ready undercut. “It seems our lines have converged once again, you reformist scoundrel. Let’s go somewhere to talk this out.”

Moments later, at the ad hoc clandestine Worker’s Spatula US Presidential Election 2020 Headquarters [editor’s note: this is just David Harvey’s house], our team sat down with Harvey over some bhang lassi to hash out our strategy to elect the real lesser evil to the office of “POTUS”:

“In terms of our concrete forces as Worker’s Spatula, we have precious little capacity to campaign in public for President-to-be West,” explained the Yank somberly. “Accordingly, we consider it best to focus our practical efforts on whatever geographic regions are mostly likely to sway election results in Kanyeezy‘s favour.”

“Yes,” nodded Harvey thoughtfully, “I too have given this a great deal of thought. Generally speaking, in past US elections, the ruling class media have focused undue attention on this or that purported ‘swing state’, but if there’s one thing that the Trump election has shown us, it’s that these categories are extremely malleable given a sufficiently strong subjective will.”

“This will, of course, must reflect and reflect itself on the correct objective conditions,” interrupted our undercutted comrade. “Given Kanye’s cultural and political distance from the Afro-American national movement, this cannot be the Black Belt South. We need another focus to upset the expected balance of forces between Red Trump and Blue Trump.”

“Definitely,” agreed Harvey. “Our focus has to be on the Midwest. Do you know what the Midwest is?”

“Oh absolutely,” replied one of the Sri Lankans. “It’s young and restless. Ideal for our political agitation against the old white-guy-ness of the two mainstream candidates.”

“Quite,” intoned Harvey, sipping his bhang lassi. “Nobody need tell those fellows who Kanye West is.”

“Now you can imagine we approached you, David Harvey,” noted the Yank, his eyes glazing over. “You have way more free time and resources than any of us thanks to your privileged bourgeois academic position with its job security that probably has nothing to do with your revisionist politics. Be honest, answering hate mail from Halkevleri aside, you haven’t got anything to do for the next few months that can’t be put off. We need you to infiltrate the West Campaign and help transform it into a vehicle for left politics.”

“Sure, I can be on a flight to wherever Kanye is tomorrow,” responded David Harvey. “Do you guys want to order some food? I could eat like two pounds of pakora right now.”

“Stay focused, Dave. Our first concern, before anything else, is the choice of a VP candidate. We’re obviously very concerned that Kanye will choose Kim Kardashian [editor’s note: no relation] as his running mate. While this choice would be extremely popular in pure electoralist terms, it is our view that there is another woman who could not only secure the West ticket enough votes to win victory, but potentially be pushed even further to the left than where she is, which is already quite far left in the US electoral context.”

“And who might that be?” asked Harvey, squinting his eyes as if trying to see something in the distance.

At that very moment, the intercom of Harvey’s door went off.

“There she is now,” said the other Sri Lankan comrade.

In through the door strode an imposing woman, splaying her lengthy acrylic nails in a most alpha display before emitting some manner of bird noise:

“Here’s how Bernie can still win, okurrrrr?”

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Worker’s Spatula New Year’s Message and Self-Criticism

MUMBAI – The video message begins with a shot of the Antilia, which is suddenly consumed in a fiery explosion. As the smoke clears, a small gathering of masked figures approach the camera bearing spatulas, weapons, and sheets of paper with statements on them to be read, as is our New Year’s tradition. One of the comrades begins to read:

“Hear ye, o ye Workers and Oppressed of the World! Verily, ’tis us, the Worker’s Spatula! The Year of our LORD Two Thousand and Nineteen is at an End, and the Two Thousand and Twentieth bears upon us! Tremble, Revisionist and Reactionary alike!”

A second explosion rocks the background of the video, causing one of our number to drop their spatula and cry aloud: “God’s Wounds!”

“As can plainly be seen, we have ended this most atrocious of Years with some Fireworks of our own: we have destroyed the Antilia Building as an Act of Armed Propaganda against the reactionary Indian Bourgeoisie, and also because the Idea of castrating a bourgeois Phallus-Building with Fire seems so very much on Brand for us. A Pox and a Curse upon thee, Mukesh Ambani, thou Dog!”

A second spokesperson leans closer to the camera to interject:

“In case ye had not surmised, we have found our own Manner of Speech in 2019 altogether too accessible, now that all the Reds, and not just the Spatula–Vanguard of the Vanguard of the Vanguard of the World Revolution–are hailing their detested Foes with ‘Scoundrels’ and the Like. In Consequence, we have elected to affect even more archaic Forms of English going forward. Expect us to transform ourselves into communist Bēowulf by 2025.”

“Yeah motherfuckers!”, adds the Yank.

This latest Attack on the Class Enemy here in India is Naught but the Culmination of a Year of the most intensive practical Work: from Melbourne to Massachusetts, from Ankara to Edinburgh, from Brooklyn to Berlin, from Kerala to Caracas, our Forces have been thoroughgoing in all Efforts on Fronts both legal and illegal: we tire not, for we are on Cocaine.

Because we are so tireless and thoroughgoing and united and so forth, one might venture to ask, “Worker’s Spatula, have you no Self-Criticisms for us at the end of this Year?” That we have, o Comrades. That we most certainly fucking have.

Foremost in our Minds, we must Self-criticise for the flagrant Racism we have displayed towards the Italian People on Twitter dot com. This offensive Jesting and Japery is beneath such a serious Platform as Worker’s Spatula, who stand against all Manner of Chauvinism, particularly that towards the most oppressed of all Peoples: the Italians.

Not only is this Racism counter to our Ideology, it has impaired our heroic Practice: has even one Italian joined our heroic Guerrilla front in the Alpine Peaks against that most reactionary State Entity of Liechtenstein? We answer, nay! We have undermined the Sisterhood of the Peoples! Alienated the Italians from our midst with our Racism most foul! In Order that this Slight might be forgotten by the noble Italian Folk, we ask that our Readers refrain from any Repartee based upon our Joke that the Marxist-Leninist Theoretician Gramsci was an Italian. Let this humorous Lie ne’er yet be repeated, lest the Italians take Offence!

At this juncture, the Yank produces a banner which reads “Prisencólinensináinciúsol!” and waves it around.

Having brought up Liechtenstein, we pray that our Work in 2020 might result in more fruitful Struggle in the Microstates of the World: though Liechtenstein yet stands strong against our Assault, we will open up a new front of Guerrilla Struggle alongside the Italians we expect to flock to our Ranks against San Marino, and the Vatican, now an ally of Chinese Imperialism, has for too long escaped our Wrath!

Not content with stretching our Alpine Forces so thin, we are amassing Forces for yet more Microstate-based Fronts:

• to bring down the Stormont Regime in the Isle of Man, and finally liberate the Island such that Women may walk freely upon its long-forbidden Soil!
• to unite with the Cape Cod Faction of the PKK to establish a new Canton for Rojava in Massachusetts!
• and at long last to bring down the bourgeois Conch Republic to usher in a red Dawn on the People’s Republic of the Conch!

Let our Struggle in these shitty wee Lands inspire all of our Readers near and far to Action in their own social Contexts, or to join us in these Battles in the Flesh!

At this juncture, a South Asian Comrade raises a banner with the unmistakeable visage of Chairman Mao, causing one of the Turks to grimace and reluctantly take hold of one of the sheets of paper and begin reading:

I’m not doing the weird dialect stuff. So our Central Committee used to all be pro-Enver Hoxha against the Maoists, right? Well the Maoists talked their way in. Our Central Committee now consists both of partisans of Enver Hoxha and Maoist elements who reject the revisionist Theory of the Three Worlds and generally otherwise hold to similar positions as the old Central Committee. We’ve always been against excessive criticism of the Maoists in spite of our disagreements, so… this is the logical continuation of that, I suppose.

Our Central Committee, as you can see, represents diverse oppressed identities and is now a clear minority of men. This will be hopefully reflected in even more militancy on gender, sexuality, and disabled issues.

A comrade in a wheelchair unfurls a banner reading “cripples of the world, rejoice!”, before the Turkish Hoxhaite continues reading.

Now that we have so deeply penetrated the South Asian communist left, we expect to be read regularly by as much as 0.1% of the communist population of the subcontinent, which is to say, 30,000 people, almost all Hill Country Tamils and irony-poisoned Malayalams. In other words, more South Asians read Worker’s Spatula than read all Trotskyite publications from the subcontinent combined since the IMT lost Pakistan.

Whoops, we hurt the IMT’s feelings before 2020 even started. Our bad.

We’re going to have more of the Bad Leftist Poetry too, that seems like it has some promise, as a bit.

Anyway, other than that, it’s all pretty much what you’d expect. We’re going to keep being the best and most sincere Marxist-Leninist platform on social media while also being the worst and most irony-poisoned, because #Dialectics.

As the sound of sirens grows in the distance, the masked figures raise their fists as Stalinistly as humanly possible and scream in unison: “Workers and oppressed peoples of the world, unite!” before scattering into the crowded Mumbai streets.

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New “Communist Rap Song” Just the Phrase “Fuck Capitalism” Repeated 452 Times

Leftbook and Left Twitter alike are abuzz with some stunning new SoundCloud content out of Gainesville, Florida. Rapper “Lil’ Che”, a high school student from the northern Florida town and self-described “Maoist insurgent”, has released his new track “Fuc* KKKapitalizm (the teardown)” to critical acclaim from the commentators who constitute the closest thing he faces to actual criticism, in an artistic or organisational sense.

“This shit WHIP,” explained one of the many like-minded commentators. “I fuckin bump this at the police”.

“12 people are capitalists,” added a YouTube commentator, presumably commenting at a time when only 12 people, as opposed to the current 3079, had “disliked” the video upload which contains the track in question.

The track, which opens with the expected post-trap music beat which sounds fantastic if you have a rig with big woofers and sounds like absolute garbage out of your laptop speakers, consists almost entirely of Lil’ Che muttering, shouting, and apparently asking if, and we quote: “fuck capitalism”. The phrase, which forms an even greater percentage of the lyrics than it does of the title, has been summarised by fans as “pulling no punches” and “in your face”.

“FUCK CAPITALISM! FUCK capitalism, fuck CAPITALISM… fuck capitalism?” exclaims and then subsequently enquires the rapper as the beat builds towards a never-quite-arriving never-quite-hook.

“FUCK CAPITALISM fuck CAPITALISM FUCK CAPITALISM FUCK CAPITALISM fuck capitalism? FUCK CAPITALISM fuck capitalism fuck capitalism FUCK CAPITALISM fuck capitalism fuck capitalism FUCK CAPITALISM FUCK CAPITALISM FUCK CAPITALISM” continues the song, which has been repeatedly described as “a big mood” by alienated proletarian listeners from Maine to Melbourne.

The white southern rapper turned down the Spatula’s offer of an interview, replying to our e-mail, which begins with the question “Your hit song respells the word ‘capitalism’ to begin with three sequential K’s. How would you say that your work fits within the broader picture of rap as a commodity in the age of the internet, and of so-called ‘race relations’ in the imperialist United States, particularly in the south, whence you hail?”, with “lol n**** wtf u jus say?”.

Did you want to read some reviews of formally less-Marxist art with essentially more Marxist content? Then check out our Humourless Marxist Reviews series!

Did you enjoy this piece, or anything else on Worker’s Spatula? Then consider donating as little as one imperialist Yankee dollar a month to supporting our work!

France to Celebrate Football Victory by Returning to France as Usual

 

PARIS – As ecstatic crowds took the streets across France (as well as other Francophone countries and in many other places around the world) to celebrate France’s decisive victory over Croatia in the World Cup hosted in Moscow today, our correspondents in France peppered themselves throughout the crowds to surreptitiously extract the views of the celebrating masses.

“Yesterday, Bastille Day, today the World Cup! LONG LIVE FRANCE!” exclaimed Jean Thomas, a drunken gentleman wearing one of those tricolour leis who appeared to not particularly comprehend our correspondent’s question: “Do you think that this win will help legitimise the imperialist dominance of France over semi-colonial countries under the rubric of ‘Francophonie’ given the multinational origins of the French team and the consequent international support for this victory?”

“FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!” added Thomas, for emphasis.

Other slightly more sober French individuals gave insufficiently sober analysis of the win:

“I think it’s a wonderful thing that we won with such a diverse team. I think it will really bring France together, to show how many different kinds of people are all equally French,” explained Agathe Kowalski, a young liberal who is apparently just too young to remember the past few decades of domestic French politics.

“Bien sûr, parce que un étranger devient français quand il marque deux buts pour ce pays,” responded our correspondent, to empty stares from Kowalski and her friends.

Slightly removed from the crowds, some white French were more forthcoming with their less palatable views: “After everything we’ve given to these countries, why shouldn’t they feel themselves French? We have a culture, a civilisation, we gave them the football, you know,” explained one “absolutely not racist” gentleman with an intolerably French name.

“I would prefer if there were more French boys on the team,” interjected one of his friends.

“French boys?” enquired our correspondent, raising an eyebrow.

“Originally French, or non-immigrant, euh… t’vois, des blancs.”

Oh là là! Would you be interested in some slightly more intellectual or humorous but equally dismissive pieces about France? Voilà, fellow haters of bourgeois French society and its dictats!

Did you enjoy this piece, or anything else on Worker’s Spatula? Then consider donating as little as one imperialist Yankee dollar a month to supporting our work!

 

#SaveEBDSA: Conclusion and Beginning

On behalf of the Worker’s Spatula Bay Area Detachment of Militant Correspondents and Fast Food Workers, we greet you, dear friends and comrades of the East Bay DSA.

We want to begin by saying:

We are sorry.

We are sorry we didn’t gather forces in the East Bay quicker, just as we are sorry we are still gathering friends around the world, the invisible army of the poor and oppressed that is Worker’s Spatula. Further, one of our heroic writers had been insisting we direct our time and resources towards the Working-Class Unity and Power slate of the East Bay DSA for some time, and only near the very end did we take up this important task of real-world politics. Had we intervened earlier, perhaps we would have had a more favourable result.

There are those who would blame the extremely undemocratic means the East Bay DSA had been run, under the dictatorial control of the bastard and shit Jeremy Gong, for any losses on our side, or, put another way, for any single victory by the crypto-fascist Bread and Roses clique. These people are objectively right, and the fact that all of the DSA’s resources, from its propaganda on the internet to organisation-internal communication channels and information crucial to recruitment certainly contributed to the favourable result these absolute villains achieved. Further, we dispute the validity of every single absentee/”proxy” vote which was across the board in favour of the treasonous Bread and Roses slate.

Definitely we agree with this general take, that they had everything and we had nothing, and that’s why they won. You may recognise this as exactly what happened to Sanders when he went up against Clinton.

However, we must also see our own subjective role in this. It was inevitable that the enemy, being in their totality an enemy force, and not merely some misguided friends (even if some within may individually seem to be mere misguided friends), would use every method in their hands to advance their goal of selfish sabotage of the project of the collective. Why should they not? We know that they have never loved the people and never sought to criticise all existing conditions (including themselves) for the good of the people. That is our goal, and we too will use every method in our disposal (“any means necessary”, if you will) to advance and defend the interest of all poor and oppressed and empower them in unity and struggle.

When we started, our About page had a joke about how we will “take credit for any revolutionary success anywhere in the world” but “will disavow any responsibility for failure”, or something to that effect. During an internal criticism session, it was pointed out that even as a joke, this had the effect of encouraging the extremely wrong tendency among leftists of every tradition to see their own agency in victories but see the agency of the enemy in their failures. “We lost the Cold War because of the imperialists!” “We won WWII because Stalin was so strong!”

One could easily claim the reverse, however, that we lost the Cold War because of our mistakes (there is much truth in this), and that we won WWII because of weaknesses of the Nazis which Stalin exploited (again, not untrue).

It is this contradiction between various subjectivities that makes up the totality of ideological and political struggle. Once again, we as the Spatula must make clear that had we in particular intervened much earlier, the result could have been more positive, and therefore we take responsibility for every single inch of ground which the crypto-fascist Bread and Roses clique held onto. We apologise to all of our friends and comrades in the East Bay DSA and pledge to continue working with them from here on out to the best of our ability. We will build stronger networks, we will help with propaganda, we commit our resources to helping build and advance real revolutionary and socialist solidarity in the East Bay.

And this is the essential point of criticism, comrades. We criticise and self-criticise because we want to do better. Criticism is a most revolutionary intervention into any sphere of life, but especially politics. By criticising in a correct Marxist-Leninist fashion, we can in fact elevate our political practice. And let us be clear: we have already achieved some victories through this campaign.

Firstly, of course, there is the general question of propaganda. Our enemies, the Bread and Roses clique, who probably deny the Armenian Genocide so as to not alienate potential Republican Turkish voters in New Jersey or something, have exercised a dictatorial control of the East Bay DSA channels of propaganda and internal communication, not only against minority dissenters, but even on quite popular points where their narrow clique is isolated but holds political power and thus feels it can dictate the truth from above, like Allah revealing the Noble Qur’ān to the Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

Such a belief is, of course, a form of shirk, and contrary to Islamic belief. As devout Ja’faris and partisans of Ali, Vicegerent of Allah, we sought the guidance of Ayatollah Sheikh Mohammad Al-Yaqoobi on this important question, and he advised us to use our own propaganda channels to carry out counter-propaganda against this crypto-fascist clique who mock our religion and our politics with their very existence.

The opportunist scoundrels and careerist idiots of the wrecker Bread and Roses clique fear our heroic propaganda because it tells the truth. They silence all dissent within the East Bay DSA and close off all channels to the heroic dissenters who speak for the revolutionary masses from Fruitvale to Fremont. This organisation-internal dictatorship, however, masks a deep insecurity which is obvious from the lack of reaction to Worker’s Spatula’s heroic interventions.

Jeremy Gong and his Bread and Roses clique can never respond to Worker’s Spatula because they know that they do not command either the popular support in the revolutionary movement at large nor the theoretical and practical knowledge of Marxism, the world, and politics to go toe to toe with such a mighty force as Worker’s Spatula. Respond to our critiques? They dare not speak our name! Yet we have continued our propaganda assault, and we will continue it, until enough forces have been gathered and a concrete strategy is formulated to take down this wrecker clique once and for all, and rebuild a platform for popular front activity for all revolutionaries and socialists in the East Bay.

This day will come. Already, little by little, the revolutionary masses are waking up to the unique threat of Jeremy Gong, and the universal opportunist-careerist-wrecker-crypto-fascist politics he represents within our movement. More and more, the mere mention of his name evokes revulsion by the youth. High school students hiss and jeer as he passes. Elementary school students throw garbage at him. The day will come soon when a baby is born in Oakland, and their first words as they are handed to their adoring mother for the first time in the hospital will be “fuck Jeremy Gong” as they raise an adorable little middle finger to the sky, only to shift it over into a victory sign, and then clench a tiny little fist of anti-fascist anger.

That is one cute baby. What’s more, that baby was conceived the natural way for cishets: by a woman who was head of her own matriarchal harem in which the men she controls stay in their place, and give her dick when she asks for it, and do not let their eyes stray to other women. “Who’s the father?” a nurse asks the heroic mother of this rebel baby, motioning towards her man-harem on the other side of the room. “I don’t know,” she replies, “some man,” she laughs, and the nurse laughs, and the doctor laughs, and the baby laughs, but the men do not laugh, because it is shameful for a man to laugh in public, for it may arouse the desires of strange women.

Deal with that, patriarchy. Deal with that, Jeremy Gong.

At any rate, Jeremy Gong is not happy with this result either. He is like Erdoğan when he won that election, but it was obvious he didn’t have the whole country in his pocket like he thought. He now has to work with two Working-Class Unity and Power people, including our dear friend Hasan. We are exposing Jeremy Gong as the most hated person in the DSA every day. Bear witness to the poll where people were asked “Who is a bigger fraud and scoundrel as a ‘socialist’?” between Jeremy Gong and known unpopular guy Phil Greaves. No matter how hated Phil Greaves is, Jeremy Gong hangs tight with him. We could’ve lost every single seat in that election, but he can’t make the reality that people hate him as much as the most hated “leftist” on Twitter go away.

Further, they are exposing themselves at the same time. Jeremy Gong gave perhaps the least confident and most patronising “left” speech ever delivered in the history of the DSA. There was no vision, only desperate hatred for everyone but himself. One of the other Bread and Roses scoundrels also suggested that the DSA should be running candidates in the South as Republicans. This goes against their supposed “hero” Sanders’s plan for a “50-state strategy”, a reference to the voter suppression of Afro-Americans in the Black Belt South: they want to abandon Afro-Americans who are desperate to take part in the legal electoral democratic politics the DSA as a whole is focused on, and desperate to do so in a way that would objectively pull local politics “left”, simply because the Bread and Roses slate thinks only white people matter no matter what. It is good that this was exposed and we must continue to emphasise this point which should make even the most reformist Democrat squirm, and if they do not issue an official retraction we must assume they have no firm line on whether or not racist voter suppression by the Republican Party is wrong or not.

Yes, the convention handed a propaganda victory to us through Bread and Roses’s own rhetoric by calling into question whether or not they support Jim Crow.

The Steering Committee results are now in, and yes, most of the seats went to the hated Bread and Roses clique, in line with the earlier Priorities Resolutions result. Bread and Roses won in an electoral sense, the only thing that matters to the heartless Clintonite monsters of the Bread and Roses clique headed by the reactionary agent Jeremy Gong. But it was a victory for us in a very real sense. It was a victory that we got two good revolutionaries on the Steering Committee. It was a victory that 67 brave souls showed up, in person, to vote against this garbage Priorities Resolution and the defeatist, pro-oppressor “socialism” it represents. You 67, you were in that room. Go find the other 66 people. Hug them. Exchange phone numbers. Befriend them. Learn about their struggles. Become a network of genuine human solidarity. 67 is not a small number of people to consciously challenge imperialist “social democracy” together in one place.

These 67 are the heroes, the very front line of the rebel youth, the heroic masses, the future. They should all work and learn and build together.

We would like to thank @NireBryce, one of the real heroes of the day, for tweeting the most of the proceedings of anyone, almost all the way to the end. That is exhausting work, not only having to type so much, but keep track of what people are saying, often rapidly, while you type. Let’s all thank them for their heroic work!

Regarding the Steering Committee, one of the Working-Class Unity and Power candidates who is now a Steering Committee member is the one that we as Worker’s Spatula endorsed: Hasan. Dear sweet Hasan, the solitary link between the East Bay DSA and the struggles of the downtrodden Turkish people who have lived under CIA-backed fascist dictatorship for decades, and the unspeakably oppressed Kurdish people who suffer under the most horrific colonial subjugation and violence, whose anti-colonial struggle in Rojava has been raised up to an international struggle of all suffering humanity, which drew Californian DSA member Michael Israel to fight in its defence, where he fell as a martyr. Hasan not only supports this link, Hasan lives it and speaks it every day by being Hasan, the living truth of the experience of the gurbetçis, all immigrants, all LGBT, all resisters. Hasan is the Anatolian angel of unity, the beautiful face of victory.

As our Turkish comrades always say, “bu daha başlangıç, mücadeleye devam”: “this is just the beginning, the struggle continues”. The scoundrels of the Bread and Roses clique may continue to hold back the democratisation of the chapter and the flow of information within and around it, but we can build our own channels, and we call on all our friends and comrades to speak with us about this work. We will continue to work together with all progressive forces to bring down these enemies of the people, and they know that we can succeed.

Already we have done a lot. Jeremy Gong is now known across the US as a condescending, sectarian, petty little man who thinks anyone to his left has mental health issues, insulting both to those of us who suffer from mental health issues and to the values of democracy and socialism he upholds in word only. Such a “leader” cannot last long if they are exposed.

We will succeed, because we are right. The truth is on our side in this fight. Always tell the truth. And the truth is this: Jeremy Gong is Adolf Hitler.

Fuck Jeremy Gong.

–Worker’s Spatula Bay Area Detachment of Militant Correspondents and Fast Food Workers (MORE COMMUNICATIONS TO FOLLOW)

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#SaveEBDSA: Jeremy Gong Wants You to Rot in Prison

Not For Circulation – Do Not Share*

On behalf of the Worker’s Spatula Bay Area Detachment of Militant Correspondents and Fast Food Workers:

While covertly many members of the East Bay DSA who support our rightful campaign for Hasan and the Working-Class Unity and Power slate have been contacting us through various channels to encourage us to continue speaking truth to the dictatorial power that is Jeremy Gong, they have also emphasised their real fear. We have had more than one comrade say they are fearful about following our proposal to bring a spatula to the convention in defiance, lest Jeremy Gong call the bourgeois police into the convention and have them locked up on trumped up terror charges.

While this reassures us that if the result of the upcoming April 29th Steering Committee election at the East Bay DSA Convention is not a sound defeat for the forces of reaction manifested in the Bread and Roses clique headed by the scoundrel and revisionist Jeremy Gong, the only reason was that the vote was rigged by these true enemies of the people, it does lead us to delving deeper into the question of Jeremy Gong and the Bread and Roses slate’s relationship to the police.

It is one thing for Jeremy Gong and his cronies to claim that they don’t support the DSA’s “national”** line against police abolition (in defiance of the actual majority will of the DSA local itself) on the flimsy pretext of how “Black people” want more police in their communities (whatever that means, Gongites never enter into a serious discussion about the actual social nature of the bourgeois state). But is this the limit of Jeremy Gong’s defence of the police? Far from it. Jeremy Gong not only does not want to abolish the police, he and his gaggle of Kautskyite wreckers and liars want to strengthen the police specifically so that they might be used to arbitrarily harass the poor and hound socialists! Let’s turn to the evidence:

Members of the LC have used their organizational positions and social capital to dismiss the hard work of rank-and-file EBDSA members engaged in the brake light program. This has included public derision on social media, the denial of access to official East Bay DSA communications, and exclusion of any mention of the brake light program in the local newsletter.

We have made a lot of the brakelight scandal, but perhaps we need to make clear to those, like Jeremy Gong, who have always had a cordial relationship with the bourgeois cops exactly why this initiative was so important. In addition to being a valuable educational moment for new socialists into how socialist politics need not merely be a recreation of bourgeois politics with a picture of Marx in the background, but could be a politics based on real social dynamics in which elections were only an occasional part, it also was a concrete step that could be taken to lessen police harassment barring their actual abolition and other such reforms under capitalist society.

Have you ever been pulled over for a brakelight, Jeremy Gong? Have you ever been afraid that, once pulled over, because of the colour of your skin or your gender presentation you would be subjected to an arbitrary search, or violence of some kind? Have you ever considered how many people experience such moments of fear, or are indeed in some sense violated or attacked by the bourgeois cops given the opportunity presented by such minor infractions, which their poverty prevents them from avoiding? Do you ever think about all the young Black men who have been searched for drugs just because they were Black, and then busted, or saddled with some bullshit charge like obstructing “justice”, while all of your white friends from Berkeley have been puffing away, practically in public, for years?

Of course you think about these things, because you frequently take your friends in the Oakland Police Department up on offers of ride-alongs, where you delight in them pulling over Black, queer, and other oppressed youth, the fear in whose eyes fills you with incomprehensible joy, you monster.

But it is not just that Jeremy Gong wants to stop us from stemming the tide of arbitrary police harassment, arrest, and violence through little legal direct actions such as the brakelight initiative. It is not even that he wants to play cop and prevent an open discussion of such matters in his favourite “democratic” “big tent” so that his unpopular views from above can dominate the popular front which is forming from the heroic masses who are trying to save the East Bay DSA from these crypto-fascist neo-Menshevik wreckers:

Even though the brake light program is extremely popular, it was unnecessarily difficult to bring the project to a vote. Brake light organizers were forced to gather 90 signatures to put the brake light project on an agenda. Given sparse general meetings, and a complete lack of access to official membership contact lists, collecting signatures was and remains needlessly laborious³. When the program was finally brought before membership at a general meeting⁴, it soundly passed. LC members were among the few people who spoke against the program.

No, Jeremy Gong wants every socialist reading this who falls afoul of his beloved bourgeois state apparatus to rot in fucking prison while Nazis walk free.

Please turn to Section 2. Arrests in Berkeley during Anti-Fascist Protests:

In August 2017, in the midst of recurring white supremacist rallies, the Mayor of Berkeley moved to appease moderate liberals and classified masks as “banned weapons.” During a demonstration against one of these rallies, four EBDSA comrades were arrested under this ordinance.

Here is the clearest expression of what ultra-left spectre Jeremy Gong was conjuring when he disingenuously posed his authoritarian cabal as the alternative to both “the useless compromise politics of the liberal center” (meaning anything to Jeremy Gong’s right, which is very little indeed), and “the dead-end wheel-spinning of the activist left”. Jeremy Gong doesn’t want the East Bay DSA to counter the claims on the rest of the US left that the DSA is aloof to real struggle, that it is not on the front lines with the most advanced section of the masses confronting fascism in the streets. In short, Jeremy Gong believes that the problem with the rest of the US left is that they are too much like the anarchists.

But Jeremy Gong is Jeremy wrong. The problem with the US left is not that they are too much like the anarchists. The problem with the US left is they are too much like Jeremy fucking Gong. Self-anointed messiahs of a particular fantasy version of socialism totally detached from real world politics (which does not stop and start at the borders prescribed by the bourgeois state apparatus and its functionaries, you Kautskyite scoundrel). Commandist little kings and queens (but let’s face it, usually kings) of their shitty pseudo-Marxist kingdoms, reading neither Hegel nor Lenin but Jacobin and the LA Times alone, and giving their “analysis” in vulgar reaction to these idealist tomes and only engaging in a material relationship with the masses on the basis of recruitment and patronisingly talking down to the poor and oppressed, the supposed subjects of socialist revolution (as if Jeremy Gong would ever utter “the r-word” in such a sentence). He is like Bob Avakian, but instead of meeting with guerrillas from Nepal and winning you over with his connections to the Black Panthers and thinking the masses are stupid because they don’t just MAKE A REVOLUTION ALREADY, he meets with other Jacobin-reading reformists who think the masses are stupid because they don’t just VOTE FOR US ALREADY.

You make us sick, Jeremy Gong. You make everyone sick. All of your friends are viewed as nothing but self-important little social democratic Brezhnevs limiting the sovereignty of anyone you deem insufficiently “serious” and “respectable”.

“Calm down, Worker’s Spatula!” we hear our well-intentioned friends pleading. “Obviously everyone dislikes Jeremy Gong, but you don’t have to destroy him like this! We may need him for future solidarity! Socialists have to stick together!”

Surely in the abstract you are right, hypothetical moderately-critical East Bay DSA comrade. In the abstract. But concretely, what solidarity can we expect from “comrades” like these:

One DSA comrade was even charged with a felony. An East Bay member requested that this comrade’s court date be shared through EBDSA official communication channels, such as email, in order to amass critical court support. No such call was issued; no official arrangements were made to organize support for these jailed comrades.⁶

Actions taken by the San Francisco DSA (SFDSA) stand in stark contrast. SFDSA used their channels of communication to coordinate jail support and raise bail money. SFDSA made dozens of phone calls, organized legal support and tracked arrested comrades as they were moved through the criminal justice system. They waited outside the jail with food and transport ready until the early hours of the morning, when our EBDSA comrades were finally released. SFDSA made sure all 12 arrested protesters had a ride home, DSA members and non-members alike.

Specifics of the arrests aside, we are again confronted with numerous questions about the chapter’s priorities. Why is it that East Bay DSA comrades were made to rely on a neighboring chapter, which has fewer members, to organize a response to politically motivated arrests? How can our chapter maintain a position against police repression without practicing a basic and straightforward function such as court support? Is this example a problem of the will, a problem of structure, or both?

Oh no, dear readers. We can tell you exactly what the problem is. The problem is that not only does Jeremy Gong not want you to get out of jail, or for your arrest or trial or doxxing to be protested (although he’ll scream to the high heavens about a “climate of hostile surveillance” when he’s “doxxed” because he sends out his files that he later decides are embarrassing), but we would not be in the least surprised if Jeremy Gong was on the phone with the Berkeley Police Department shortly after the arrest, giving them information and assuring them that such “anarchist scum” would not be allowed to decide the future of the East Bay DSA, loyal servant of the Democratic Party and capital.

They should’ve stuck to “pursuing ordinary political goals” instead of taking on the ridiculously far-left goal of… let’s just check the notes here… ah yes, protesting Nazis.

“Demonstrations”, of course were one of the things Jeremy Gong listed as representing the sort of “mass action” reflecting the “style of politics” he so “enthusiastically affirms” in the Bread and Roses slate analysis document. But what are we to demonstrate against if not Nazis? The masses eagerly await marching orders on who they are allowed to protest from the one true interpreter of “mass action” and “highly visible and massively popular independent socialist activity”, Jeremy Gong.

As for us, our message is clear: Fuck cops. Fuck Nazis. Fuck Jeremy Gong.

–Worker’s Spatula Bay Area Detachment of Militant Correspondents and Fast Food Workers (MORE COMMUNICATIONS TO FOLLOW)

Image credit: @WhatBigTeeth, note that we are not critical of the cishet man-dominant implications of this meme in this context as we are under most circumstances, as it perfectly captures Jeremy Gong and cop-lovers everywhere.

*Credit for this joke certainly belongs to @NireBryce, who will presumably be livetweeting the convention. If they do not, or if there is some interruption, you all know who is to blame: Jeremy Gong.

**See the footnote in our previous piece.

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Humourless Marxist Reviews: Black Panther

I’ve been a white US Marxist-Leninist for many years now, and I thought I had seen some reactionary shit get passed off as progressive. But “Black Panther” really takes the cake, or the Black Muslim bean pie, depending which bourgeois dessert you prefer.

Oh yeah, you heard me, I called the Nation of Islam “bourgeois”. Deal with it.

“Black Panther” is one of those superhero movies, like Batman, where the bourgeoisie rescues the proletariat, but worse in about a hundred ways.

First of all, most of the cast are token black actors designed to distract from the whiteness of Marvel Studios at large. This is justified through the flimsy pretext of inserting the African country of Wakanda into a subplot, ignoring the fact that not a single one of these actors is from Wakanda or even of known Wakandan ancestry.

What’s more, most of these actors are not even Africans, but AMERICANS who just happen to be black. This is a flagrant example of the cultural appropriation of diverse African cultures, from Swahili to Nelson Mandela, by black American “radicals” with their pseudo-scientific “pan-African” ideology that has chosen Wakanda as its latest target.

Do the many so-called “communists” defending this film not see that the bourgeois press is pushing this film specifically because it divides the American working class the exact same way that Trumpism does, with racial “nationalism” based on unscientific myths??? What would Harry Haywood or Paul Robeson say? Probably exactly what I’m saying right now: that black Americans are Americans and they should unite with the rest of the American working class against pan-Africanism and every form of fascism.

There are some who would balk at my use of the word “fascism” to describe the “pan-African” ideology behind the appropriation of Wakandan history and culture in the film. But it’s true. There’s an economic crisis and “pan-African” is racialist and that’s fascism. You can’t argue with that, or else you’re a fake Marxist.

Also, the heroes of the film are all defending a monarchy, which is about as “revolutionary” as defending Saudi Arabia. Actually the Wakandan and Saudi royal families have close ties, and their business interests align with Israel. This is your “decolonised” cinema, Tumblr?

No, I, like Erik Killmonger, demand real anti-imperialism and real national liberation for the downtrodden Wakandan proletariat, and not cultural tokenism in bourgeois white cinema built on monarchism, compradorism, and other forms of reaction which deny the class contradictions of Wakandan society! This love letter to the Wakandan royal family’s only redeeming quality is in telling the heroic story of Erik Killmonger, the anti-imperialist hero Wakanda needs!

Speaking of Erik Killmonger, this figure is also deeply problematic, and I can’t stand all the “Marxists” trying to rescue this film by posing him as a hero. Beyond his opposition to the comprador monarchy and his ostensible anti-imperialism (as displayed in the dialogue in the museum scene), Killmonger is like one of those South Africans who condemned Apartheid and the Bantustan system built on comprador monarchs, but who makes excuses for the “post-Apartheid” system. Really makes you wonder if the Soviet revisionists should have even supported the CPSA and the ANF if they weren’t even going to build socialism.

Killmonger knows that the imperialist bourgeoisie stole from him, but nowhere does he mention that Africa is a patriarchy, and was reactionary before white people showed up.

That’s also kind of racist, if you think about it.

Also, vibranium is not even a real metal. I have the periodic table memorised, and it’s just not.

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Has-Beens Very Unimpressed with the Struggle

PARIS – The City of Lights, the Big Apple, the Paris of the East: the French capital goes by many names, and is famous as the home of the commune, and the Whopper. But for the past two days, Paris has also hosted the fourth annual International Radical Has-Been Conference.

The move to Paris follows three consecutive years in Wellington, New Zealand, which had been chosen for its extreme safety for our retired radical friends. The pivot to Paris followed a decision at the end of the third conference to relocate to a city whose best years were far behind it.

Hippies, punks, and various breeds of Marxists whose claim to fame and legitimacy is some token act or personal relationship from at least a decade prior which proves they are real radicals; all of these came together to reiterate their pretext for avoiding all contemporary political struggle and organisation.

“I was Lukács’s goddamn student!” explained Andrew Arato, during his keynote speech at the extremely white and overwhelmingly male gathering. “I was, okay? Who could possibly know more about communism, or be more serious about it than me? I have tonnes of other old academic friends you can ask if you doubt me!”

“But mostly, I knew fuckin’ Lukács! You fuckin’ idiots!” he concluded, to raucous applause from the room full of tattooed men who prefer the company of a rotating harem of impressionable younger women who are easily impressed by boastful stories of personal heroism to knowing, in a sexual or (heaven forfend) non-sexual capacity, a single woman who might endanger their ego by engaging in a serious discussion about theory and practice.

A series of panels with very similar titles were held on the second day in the morning: “Heroes of the Arab Spring”, “Heroes of Gezi”, “Heroes of Occupy Wall Street”, and of course, “Heroes of the 2010 Student Protests”. None of the panels contained any single statement that could distinguish any of those present by theoretical commitment, though our correspondent was able to ascertain that self-identified anarchists, Marxist-Leninists, “MLMs”, narodniks, and left communists were all represented in the ranks of the panelists.

“So then a fucking cop comes around the corner, right? And my buddy, Mike, he’s scared as shit, I can see it in his eyes, but I just charge him and kick him. He clubbed us both pretty bad, but at one point I even knocked him down. That was fuckin’ awesome,” explained one speaker on the Occupy Wall Street panel to the thinly populated room.

“You fuckin’ liar! You were the one who was scared! I was the one who knocked down that cop!” interjected the speaker’s friend Mike, leaping self-righteously from his chair and storming from the conference hall in to go purchase some halal fast food from a Tunisian “who probably has to serve racist French people all day, I’m probably the only white person who’s ever said ‘ahlan’ to him.”

The conference wrapped up with a talk on “Prospects for Revolution Today: Why Bother?” by an Israeli leftist who was jailed for his refusal to serve in the Zionist occupation army in like, the ’90s or something.

“As the crisis deepens, we see waves of resistance across the world, from Rojava to South Africa. If you’re anything like me, the first thing this makes you ask yourself is: ‘Wasn’t I really brave when I stood my ground against state repression, years ago? Why can’t people today do something as cool as that one thing I did?’

“The reason is simple. They’re all dumb kids. There’s no point talking to a single one of them, because they haven’t seen what I’ve seen, man. They just take part in stupid projects that aren’t as cool as I was.

“Yeah sure, some of them go so far as to actually face death on the front lines against fascists. But they’re line-jumpers. I’ve yet to hear one martyr pay their respects to heroes like me who paved the way for their posturing. And they’re naïve, they don’t know what I know, and what I can’t teach anyone, because everyone’s so unworthy of my brilliant insights.

“God, it’s so annoying to hear all the apolitical assholes who I’m inexplicably surrounded by talk about the MLKP and TKP/ML like what they’re doing is so impressive. What I did was impressive too, okay? And yet Israel still exists, so what’s the fucking point of anything?

“I’m done, I tell you. I got myself a nice NGO job, I’m building myself a little Ottoman-style harem, and I’m going to live out my days telling anyone who will listen how important my one contribution to struggle is, at any given opportunity. Anything else would just mean tainting my purity by talking to other people, particularly young people.

“Cynics of the world, divide and go home: you have nothing to gain, and a lot of time to waste.”

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News in Brief: July 15th 2017

THE INTERNET – Some years after Tumblr stopped being even a vague cultural influence on left-wing politics and well into the division of its former users into those who are engaged in quite broad front practical politics and those who have retreated from politics entirely, Marxist-Leninists on the internet remain convinced of the importance of fighting “SJWs” who are supposedly to be seen at every protest telling white male workers to “check their privilege”.

“Identity politics is dividing the working class,” explained a white man in an imperialist country to his internet audience of other white men in imperialist countries. “How does anyone expect to win over the working class when they talk about gay people and racism all the time?” referring to the all-white, all-male class which he has been extremely successful in winning over, unlike those horrific SJWs.

ST. PETERSBURG – Russian communists are trying to piece together what exactly the US government is accused of doing with the Russian state.

“So… the ‘resistance’ in the US refers to those people who feel the US state is not fighting hard enough for global hegemony?” asked local Враг Капитала reader Vladimir Semyonovich.

“I’m for revolutionary defeatism without exception,” protested Russian Maoist Party member Anna Mikhailovna, “so I don’t want Russian capital interests defended in Washington DC. But is there no one in the US who feel that the interests of capital in Washington DC should not be judged based on their Russianness?”

NEW YORK – ROL infiltration of the DSA is reportedly well underway, with the DSA already embracing national liberation for Afro-Americans and sending off martyrs to die in ICOR-approved armed struggle. Boston-based analysts expect the DSA to be a complete ROL front by 2019, right around the time the Democratic Party officially embraces the Three Worlds Theory as its lone “concession” to “the left”.

ANKARA – Worker’s Spatula correspondents are nervously considering whether or not to publish a story about Erdoğan condemning the French for celebrating Bastille Day, as he might do.

“Like, the joke is about how the Marxist tradition appropriates the French Revolution, and how Erdoğan is an arch-reactionary, and that,” explained [REDACTED 1] to her comrade during a Worker’s Spatula meeting.

“Right, but, even making a joke these days in Turkey makes you wonder,” replied [REDACTED 2]. “Erdoğan could easily say that the storming of the Bastille inspired the July 15th Coup Attempt, and…”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah…”